I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
