My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize