I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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