i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
