so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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