I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
