there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
