He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
