Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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