i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
