I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
They are going to name an STD after you.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
