I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
