She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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