Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
