Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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