the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
