That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
