So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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