Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize