She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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