I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
