I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
