is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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