If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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