do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
