margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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