Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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