Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
