The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
