It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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