that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Even my vagina gasped.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
