you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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