just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
