I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize