he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
