so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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