somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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