You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I didn't shave. On purpose
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
