Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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