Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(425): View more from Washington

my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.

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(917): View more from New York City

the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning

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(314): View more from Missouri

totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.

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(480): View more from Arizona

I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"

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(850): View more from Florida

I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.

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(631): View more from New York

Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?

(516): View more from New York

lol... you weighed it?

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(931): View more from Tennessee

i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn

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(727): View more from Florida

Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick

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(734): View more from Michigan

...hi

(603): View more from New Hampshire

YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF

(734): View more from Michigan

Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.

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