covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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