So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
