i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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