i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
