Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
