"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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