Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize