hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
