Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
