you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize