I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
