so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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