There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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