Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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