nut hugger
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
