i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I believe in your delicious
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
