I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
