I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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