it was like his penis was on wheels.
he was CRYING into my vagina
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
