I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize