It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
