I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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