i think my mom watched the whole time
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
