you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
