Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
