Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
