So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
