You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
