I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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