your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
