I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
