I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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