A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
