i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
time to smoke my breakfast
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
