Buhtt sex?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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