No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
