I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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